I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
