Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i drank out of a bidet.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
