Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
