I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
