i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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