remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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