dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Terrible idea I love it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
