Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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