I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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