Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
