At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
