OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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