Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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