If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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