I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize