hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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