bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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