haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
