Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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