she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
