Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize