I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
