if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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