i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
