I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He passed out mid-signature
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
