just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
