Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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