I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
