3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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