Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
