So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
