So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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