If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
