pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
