I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
