That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I will be naked everywhere
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
