Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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