Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
