Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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