Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
