I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
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you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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