He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
