apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
