it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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