how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
