You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
