I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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