Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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