Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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