Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
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This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
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I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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