I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish I could teleport
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize