OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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