Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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