Im at strip club and am horny
Swine flu. Run for my life!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
