shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
