I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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