My hand turned me down
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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