Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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