he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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