I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
