too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
