Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.

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  (262): Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other. http://tfl.nu/ky9n
  Replies (33) Good night (3883) Bad night (1272)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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  (609): i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings (856): youre going to kill that woman one of these days http://tfl.nu/m946
  Replies (25) Good night (4347) Bad night (818)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better

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  (508): as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better http://tfl.nu/9gj2
  Replies (21) Good night (5282) Bad night (1221)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My face left an imprint in the loaf...

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  (215): I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning (215): My face left an imprint in the loaf... http://tfl.nu/s8i8
  Replies (12) Good night (4844) Bad night (1170)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.

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  (712): Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now. http://tfl.nu/slxg
  Replies (12) Good night (1050) Bad night (3561)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything

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  (716): I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything http://tfl.nu/duov
  Replies (4) Good night (1601) Bad night (900)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.

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  (305): Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin. http://tfl.nu/eiwf
  Replies (12) Good night (1156) Bad night (1481)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Parents weekend was a success.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.

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  (804): Parents weekend was a success. (973): Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success... (804): Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9gkg
  Replies (4) Good night (1782) Bad night (713)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.

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  (817): I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw. http://tfl.nu/upb5
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (1534)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.

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  (202): he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/t5e0
  Replies (18) Good night (5575) Bad night (788)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...

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  (407): Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background... http://tfl.nu/gjfo
  Replies (7) Good night (838) Bad night (1882)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.

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  (412): I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit. http://tfl.nu/xhsp
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (764)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?

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  (314): Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave? http://tfl.nu/zqej
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (289)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed

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  (651): I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed http://tfl.nu/fbkn
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (348)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force

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  (209): I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force http://tfl.nu/knab
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (137)

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