you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?