Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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