I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?