We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.