Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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(901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52

Replies (11) Good night (2347) Bad night (945)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

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(717): Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up. http://tfl.nu/3bej

Replies (33) Good night (4383) Bad night (1460)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

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(678): Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans. http://tfl.nu/jpyk

Replies (32) Good night (8545) Bad night (888)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps

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(703): I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps http://tfl.nu/dpvm

Replies (8) Good night (4200) Bad night (972)
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(210): View more from Texas

i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.

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(210): i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories. http://tfl.nu/3qfj

Replies (8) Good night (3592) Bad night (881)
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(801): View more from Utah

He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.

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(801): He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark. http://tfl.nu/qvx8

Replies (7) Good night (4153) Bad night (828)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.

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(647): I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution. http://tfl.nu/mh7s

Replies (4) Good night (3670) Bad night (718)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

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(301): I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS http://tfl.nu/2dnv

Replies (8) Good night (2793) Bad night (913)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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(203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl

Replies (2) Good night (1631) Bad night (535)
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(847): View more from Illinois

This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.

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(847): This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle. http://tfl.nu/3imx

Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (601)
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(512): View more from Texas

He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

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(512): He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear http://tfl.nu/jwyg

Replies (6) Good night (1462) Bad night (385)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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(610): I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom http://tfl.nu/d66w

Replies (5) Good night (727) Bad night (270)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.

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(540): Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/u4dw

Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (594)
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(760): View more from California

Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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(760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv

Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (309)
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(415): View more from California

If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning

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(415): If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning http://tfl.nu/qp15

Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (213)

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