He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
