wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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