Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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